Maybe you are wondering whether to stay or go in your marriage or relationship. Or, asking yourself, what are the key signs you should keep trying in your relationship? This can be so very confusing, because, often you can’t see the forest for the trees.
First, you fall in love and all seems perfect—a match made in heaven. Then you argue, and things go south big time. You may feel disrespected, not-heard, unappreciated. You may feel lonely and unloved by your spouse or partner at times. In fact, you may even feel like you don’t like or love your partner and should end it once and for all.
Then things improve between you and your loved one. So you think to yourself, I do want to work things out.
Of course, then the old pattern of butting heads and disappointment starts all over again.
But the thing is, all relationships have issues and obstacles! All of them. Even the cushy lovey-dovey ones you see on Instagram! Yes. So yours may be work saving. In fact yours could turn out to be a great love!
The main issue to look at is what is the trend in my relationship? How is my marriage changing? Is it getting better over time? Is my partner growing and becoming a better match for me? In fact, if these questions are answered with a yes, you could wind up with an almost perfect partner in the future! Which means, even if your partner is not great right now, ending things right now could amount to throwing away a love relationship that will be awesome. So here are, my 11 Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship.
#1: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is your partner becoming more helpful or caring, even in small ways? Or, do you notice that he or she says more loving things at times or gives you small gifts or help around the house?
#2: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is he or she growing as a person? Perhaps your partner is in therapy, coaching, or taking a growth course. This suggests that he or she could become much more of what you want and need.
#3: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is your partner becoming more real with you, sharing feelings and thoughts in a non-attacking, honest way, so that you can understand him or her? Do you find that you have more compassion for him or her over time, in a way that still carries respect?
#4: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is he or she more attentive, appreciative, eager to see you, and reluctant to leave you? Does your partner plan new dates or fun activities with you?
#5: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Have you noticed that your partner is more interested in you and your life? In fact, are you talking more as best friends in a new intimate way?
#6: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is he or she more verbally and physically affectionate? Perhaps texting with loving emoji’s, giving more hugs and kisses?
#7: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Does your partner want to be more romantic and sexual with you? Is he or she planning sexy encounters or romantic dates?
#8: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is your partner more forgiving? Do you wind up making up after fights in a way that is rapid and moves the intimacy forward.
#9: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is he or she doing spiritual or religious activities with you? Often a shared practice leads to a rapid improvement in your relationships over time. There tends to be less blame and more forgiveness.
#10: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is your partner willing to go to couples therapy or coaching to heal the relationship? This is a huge sign that things could work out well for the two of you!
#11: Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship
Is your relationship NOT showing the following negative trends, where it is becoming:
- Colder and more distant.
- More defensive on either side
- More critical and nitpicky on either side.
- Increasingly contemptuous where there is greater disrespect.
Indeed, these four trends have been called the “four horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Research has shown these four signs to be almost fool-proof indicators that a relationship is on its deathbed.
In fact, if you have a positive growth trend in your marriage or relationship you would NOT see these things happening. If they are PRESENT, it may be time for you to move on.
Key Signs You Should Keep Trying in a Relationship: Scoring Your Answers
In sum, if you can answer yes to #10 & #11 and yes to at least four other questions, I suggest you roll up your sleeves and work on things. You could be very happy with what happens with your Beloved!
On the other hand, if you are still on the fence, definitely take advantage of a free coaching session with one of my expert coaches.