Some people are always the life of the party. You can’t get enough of them and they’re a pleasure to be around. They just have this natural charm that makes them likable and irresistible. But—why is this the case? Find out some of their shared traits.
They’re good listeners
Charmers immerse and focus themselves in what the other person is saying. They aren’t busy thinking of a rebuttal or a response. They don’t interrupt people while they’re speaking, try to dominate the conversation or tell stories to brag about themselves. They don’t use a conversation to give a lecture or unsolicited advice. Instead, they make people feel like they’ve been heard and focus on what they’re saying. “Everyone loves to talk about themselves,” says Mike Goldstein, founder and lead dating coach of EZ Dating Coach. “Ask the people you meet to do so.” They use the conversation to learn about what you know. “You’re far more likely to charm someone when you make them feel heard,” says Cherie Burbach, author of Art and Faith: Mixed Media Art With a Faith-Filled Message, who specializes in relationships and helping people connect. Read more about how to be a good listener.
They speak clearly
They take their time to think about each sentence, avoiding any unnecessary fillers that will make them unclear. This way, everything they say has a purpose and objective. These good communicators speak confidently, precisely, and deliberately. “If you ramble on or go off track, you’re more likely to lose someone,” says Burbach. “But sharing a few genuine, clearly spoken words will leave an impact.” And being direct, concise, and succinct makes them come across as more friendly. These simple tips can help you improve your speech and be more articulate.
They ask for advice
When someone asks for your advice, it shows that they value your opinion and sincerely want to know and trust what you think. (And people typically love to talk, especially if it relates to themselves.) They hold your knowledge in high regard. Asking someone to share their area of expertise helps boost their confidence. And it will likely make them think of you more favorably and memorably.
They’re authentic and genuine
People seek someone who is real since they know they’re trustworthy. No one likes a fake or a phony. “When this happens, you feel played instead of being treated like a unique, special human being,” says Burbach. You don’t want to have to waste time trying to figure out someone’s hidden agenda. If you’re likable, you’re comfortable in your own skin and know what makes you happy. And that makes you more interesting and appealing to people. “When we come across someone who is authentic with their words and intentions, it stands out,” says Burbach. “People can tell when you’re not being real, and it’s annoying.” Here are the subtle habits you have that make people trust you.