Quit smoking already
If you smoke, ask your doctor to prescribe you the nicotine patch. Why? Because it’s scientifically proven that smoking can clog the blood vessels in the penis in the same way it clogs the arteries in your heart. Ever heard a better reason to quit smoking?
Consider your meds
Write a list of all the medicine you’re taking, then check for party poopers. More than 200 medications can cause erection problems and diminished sex drive, including drugs used to treat high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and stomach problems. Ask your pharmacist or doctor if any of the drugs on your list could be culprits. Of course, you can’t stop taking a drug you need, but you can talk to your doctor about possibly changing the brand, dose, or timing of your medication.
Plan a getaway
Spend tonight planning a steamy vacation. Even if you don’t go, spending time together picturing where you’d go, looking at photos online, and imagining yourself in some tropical paradise will be enough of a libido booster to get you to bed—early. Plus, it’s a lot more stimulating to talk about than why your teenager is failing geometry. Here’s how to have vacation sex all year long.
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Practice Kegel exercises
You know what Kegels are—they’re the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy or because you were having a bit of a problem with leaking urine. What your doc probably didn’t tell you is that they’re also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day. Check out these health secrets your vagina wishes you knew.
Take this supplement
Men: Consider taking supplements of ginkgo biloba. The herb promotes better blood flow, getting more blood to the brain and… other organs. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out how that might help you. Follow the instructions on the bottle, but check with your doctor first. (If you’re having painful sex, here are some reasons that might explain why.)
Cook up a pasta dinner
Make pesto and serve it over pasta tonight. Pesto contains pine nuts, great sources of arginine, the precursor for nitric oxide, a main ingredient in drugs like Viagra. Arginine helps open blood vessels so blood flow improves. Find out the little-known vegetable that could also do wonders for your sex drive.
Act like teenagers
Go to the movies with your partner, sit in the back row, and make out like you used to when you were a teenager. You’ll be combining the forbidden with the frustrating—a sure bet to get your juices flowing. (By the way, this is the best time of the day to have sex.)
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Touch your partner
Every time you pass your partner, reach out and touch or kiss him or her. Don’t allow these moments to go beyond the kiss or hug. Simply increasing the amount of physical contact you have with your partner will help with desire. Try these little secrets for a more intimate and happier marriage.
Fill up on these foods
Sprinkle 1 tablespoon wheat germ on every cup of yogurt and every bowl of cereal you eat. Wheat germ’s rich in zinc, which is important to the production of that all-important hormone, testosterone. You can also get your fill of zinc in beef, eggs, and seafood—especially oysters. These 19 natural aphrodisiac foods are guaranteed to improve your sex life.
Pretend to be a new couple
When you’re at a party or out in public with your partner, take a moment to stare at him/her across the room as if you were still wooing one another. Sex falls out of a relationship when you take one another’s presence for granted. So don’t. (We bet you didn’t know that sex actually makes you smarter! Here’s how.)
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Keep your eyes open
Open your eyes when you kiss and when you are intimate. Looking into your partner’s eyes during such times sends an incredible message of trust and honesty. (Here are 11 times when it’s totally OK to show some PDA.)
Say what’s on your mind
Say exactly what’s on your mind—sexually, that is. If you’re watching your husband pull out the tree stump in the backyard and you get a certain weakness in your legs watching the sweat roll off his back, tell him. If the sight of your wife comforting your teenage son after his first-ever girlfriend dumped him makes you glad all over again that you married her, tell her. Simply expressing how everyday things make you feel deepens your intimacy when said out loud. (Don’t miss these genius ways to improve communication in your relationship.)
Pretend you’ve just met
Remember that weak in the knees, shivers-up-your-back feeling you used to get when you first met? You can have that again. Call her and ask her out on a date. Dress up for lunch with him. Buy new underwear. (You’ll definitely want to take note of these habits that couples with steamy sex lives have.)
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Create your own intimate rituals
No, we’re not talking about sex. But what about waking him up with a steaming cup of coffee instead of the alarm every morning? What about having a hot bath ready for her in the evening? How about a special dinner out every Tuesday—when most couples are zoned out in front of the TV? Or massaging her feet while you watch Netflix with a big bowl of popcorn? The key is consistency. These are not things you do just once, but over and over again until they become like a secret language between the two of you. (Here’s how you can strengthen your relationship in just an hour.)
Get a massage
Or a pedicure, or a facial, or whatever makes you feel better about yourself. If you take care of your own body, you’re much more likely to be able to enjoy it. Another good way to take care of yourself is exercise. A side benefit for both men and women: better blood flow to crucial organs. (Here are some more health benefits of massages.)
Find new things to talk about
Turn the timer on for 15 minutes and talk to him (or her) about anything other than kids, money problems, or work annoyances. Tell him about the dream you had last night. The cute teenager you saw at the diner who reminded you of yourself when you were in high school. The great presentation you made today and how it made you feel. When the timer goes off, it’s your partner’s turn. (Here are 28 little things you can do right now to make your marriage happier.)
Take a solo trip
Go away for a couple of days—by yourself. While you’re away, make a list of all the things you love and like about your partner. Here’s how couples can stay close when they’re apart. Close your eyes and picture yourself making love. Call him/her and have an erotic phone conversation. By the time you get home, you’ll be so greedy for each other that the front hall will look like a king-size mattress.
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Do it in a different room
Send the kids away and stay home together. Make love in a different part of the house. It can be as steamy as in your bathtub or as romantic as on a blanket in front of your fireplace. (Here are some things you should know about having sex in your 40s.)
Write down your worries
Before you go to bed, take a few minutes to write out a to-do list and a list of your worries. This gets rid of the worries that can often interfere with your ability to relax and become aroused. Find out what women with incredible sex lives always do.
Remove the pressure to get right to it
Spend an hour with your partner touching every part of his/her body—but you can’t use your hands. Use other parts of your body (including your imagination) instead. Conversely, caress one another only with your hands touching every part of the body except the genital zones. This can remove any pressure you might feel to “get right to it” after a hectic day on the job and is a wonderful way, at least for the woman, to relax and escape from the daily grind and transition from her other (oh-so-non-sexual) roles. (This is how long that sex “afterglow” lasts, according to scientists.)
Eat a dozen oysters
After all, Casanova is said to have had 50 oysters every morning off the breast of a young woman in the bathtub—so they have to be good for something. Actually, as you read a few tips ago, oysters are loaded with zinc, critical for production of testosterone, the sex hormone in both men and women. (By the way, this is exactly how many calories you could burn by having sex.)
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Stop at one (or two) drinks at the most
A small amount of alcohol can set the mood; more can drown the flame of desire, or lessen your ability to see your desire through. (You might want to pick up some of these essential oils for a sizzling sex life, too.)
Buy some lingerie
Go purchase at least one item of sexy lingerie. OK, this is for the ladies… But the feel of soft silk against your skin will help wake up those sensuality nerve endings. And who knows what will happen when that happens? Don’t make these common bra mistakes though.
Re-create your favorite sexy scene in a movie
You know the ones—the lobster scene in Flashdance. The ice scene in 9 1/2 Weeks. Mena Suvari’s cheerleading routine in American Beauty, Clark Gable carrying Vivien Leigh up the stairs in Gone With the Wind, the pottery scene in Ghost, the part in The Bridges of Madison County when Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood dance in her kitchen. Check out these romantic movies for inspiration.
Create a romance playlist for him (or her)
Have it playing when your partner returns home. Light a few scented candles while you’re at it. (These are the best fragrances for every room of your house). Who knows what might ensue?
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Get physical
Do something physical together, like skiing, a long country walk, a stroll along a beach, or canoeing. Such activities let you see one another in a different light, creating a sense of physical vitality that readily translates into intimacy. (Here’s how you can tap into your sexual strength based on your zodiac sign.)
Relationships – Reader's Digest
