When it comes to dating and love relationships there are certain “love facts” that most everyone believes. Yet, research shows they are not facts at all. They are only myths about love that are simply not true! And believing these falsehoods can undermine your relationship success. Separating love myths from love facts will help you be more realistic and more hopeful about dating and relationships.
Here are seven of these myths about love and what the research actually shows us to be true about them.
Myths About Love 1. The divorce rate in the country is 50%
Fact: It’s never been 50%. It’s actually 41%. So your odds of having a good and lasting marriage are better than you think. And a college education decreases the likelihood of divorce. This is shown by more sophisticated research.
Myths About Love 2. You have one soul mate and meeting that “One” is the key to finding love.
Fact: Research shows that love and marriage take hard work, including commitment, positive communication, and the ability to resolve fights. The best relationship advice I can give you is that you need to work on yourself and choose someone, a good friend with chemistry, who’s willing to grow with you. These are the real keys to a happy marriage. In fact, it’s not about finding a needle in a haystack.
Myths About Love 3. Fighting is an unhealthy thing in couples.
Fact: Couples who suppress their anger have a divorce rate that is twice as high as those in which one partner stands up for him/herself. Fighting with your spouse and then resolving differences is a healthy thing.
Myths About Love 4. Living with a boyfriend/girlfriend will make for a stronger marriage down the road.
Facts: In general, couples who have not lived together before marriage have healthier and more successful marriages. They also have less conflict, less abuse and are less likely to get divorced than couples who live together before marriage. However, a more recent study shows that couples who have committed to be married and live together do have a 28% decreased risk of getting divorced. Also, after age 45 there seems to be no difference in happiness levels between those that are married vs. those that are living together.
Myths About Love 5. On the online dating websites the majority of men are lying about themselves.
Fact: Independent research shows that the number is much less than 50%. Common lies concern income, profession, age, marital status and weight. And of course the women lie also.
Myths About Love 6. It’s better to wait to marry until you’re older.
Facts: People who marry after their mid twenties are just as likely to divorce. And surprisingly are much more likely to have a poor quality marriage than those who married earlier. However, if your educational pursuits take you into your early 30s, then your chances of a high quality relationship are just as good.
Myths About Love 7. Choosing marriage means more stress and financial drain in your life.
Facts: Hundreds of studies conducted around the world show that happy couples are healthier than singles emotionally and physically and they have more wealth too. Except for the crying babies, diapers and the ongoing lack of sleeplessness that children can bring on :).
So there you have the love myths vs the love facts!
Just remember, each person is different, however. And no matter what research says, you can succeed in creating the lasting passionate love that meets the calling of your heart. To learn exactly how, pick up a copy of the bestseller, Love in 90 Days.