In March, Demi Lovato celebrated six years of sobriety, an experience that she’s been incredibly open about with the general public. “So grateful for another year of joy, health and happiness,” she wrote at the time. “It is possible.”
Now, in a new song, Lovato sings about breaking sobriety. Although the singer has not confirmed whether she's singing about herself, many have speculated that the song is about a personal relapse.
In a new song released Thursday called “Sober,” Lovato poignantly sings about reaching a breaking point.
“I got no excuses for all of these goodbyes/ Call me when it’s over ‘cus I’m dying inside,” Lovato sings. “Wake me when the shakes are gone and the cold sweats disappear/ Call me when it’s over and myself has reappeared/ I don’t know why, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why/ I do it every, every, every time/ It’s only when I’m lonely/ Sometimes I just wanna cave and I don’t wanna fight.”
She also addresses fans in the song: “I’m sorry for the fans I lost/ Who watched me fall again/ I wanna be a role model/ But I’m only human.”
In the lyrics at the end of the song, Lovato promises to get help and apologizes.
Lovato also tweeted out the video this week with the comment: "My truth…"
Lovato has been an outspoken advocate and ally when it comes to experiences with sobriety and mental health challenges.
Back in September 2017 at the annual Brent Shapiro Foundation for Drug Prevention Summer Spectacular, Lovato said that "every day is a battle." To stay on top of it, she said she was going to therapy regularly, keeping up with her medications, going to AA meetings, and staying physically active.
Lovato also shared her experiences with fans in her 2017 documentary, Simply Complicated. In the film, she explained how she believed being candid about these issues would help de-stigmatize them, especially for young women who may not be inclined to seek help if they need it. “There weren’t a lot of young pop stars…talking about their issues, and I wanted [to be] someone that my little sister could look up to,” she said. “I wanted to be the role model that I needed growing up.”
As SELF wrote previously, it's important to remember that a relapse isn't a personal failure or a sign that treatment has failed. For many people, a relapse is just another part of their recovery path. But a relapse is definitely a sign that it's time to check in with a counselor or other addiction treatment specialist to help identify your potential triggers and avoid future relapses as much as possible.