Do you feel fat and uncomfortable? Obsess about your weight? Do you avoid mirrors whenever possible? Well, these are all signs that you need to change your Mind. And in this post, just in time for the New Year, I’ll show you five powerful hacks that will help you overcome your stinking thinking. That’s Right. Without dieting!
Guess what? No one has a perfect body. Those photos you see of celebs in magazines are retouched. Those actors in movies and TV are layered in makeup and have body doubles half the time. Those models you see on the runways usually suffer from feeling fat and uncomfortable. And they struggle with eating disorders that can have them looking like skeletons. The obsession with being thin, young and perfect-looking is the bane of our culture.
In fact, everyone in this culture suffers from what I call, the body blues, at some point in their adolescent and adult lives. And the body blues can have a profound impact on your dating and love relationships.
So let’s change your Mind about feeling fat and uncomfortable by using five proven hacks.
Do You Feel Fat and Uncomfortable? #1. Shift to More Positive Thinking
It’s not your physical problems—it’s your thinking about how bad it is that causes problems. You see your flab and start thinking how unattractive and what a turn-off it is. Negative self-talk leads to depression and upset which in turn can color how you come across to others. But here’s the best news: research shows that you can break this pattern by changing these thoughts. Just like anything else, when it comes to changing mental habits, practice makes it all work out.
For 10 to 15 minutes several times a week, write down a neutral or positive statement about your body complaint (e.g., “Being overweight is a minor problem.” Or “It’s just an extra 15 pounds.”) Read the statement aloud. When a doubt or negative idea comes up, like, “It’s awful.” simply write it down. Continue this process, alternating neutral and negative thoughts about your body complaint until you feel a positive shift in your mood. This will help neutralize any possible complaints that you have about your condition and get your brain into the habit of countering negative thoughts with a positive response.
Do You Feel Fat and Uncomfortable? #2. The Mirror Exercise
Look in the mirror and pick 3 to 5 things that you like about your physical appearance. Wear form-fitting but not revealing clothing so that you can do this exercise even if you are having a flare-up of the body blues and feeling fat. When practiced regularly, this exercise will shift focus away from your physical insecurities and on to the physical features that you do like. Studies have shown that the mirror exercise is especially helpful to do before you go to a social gathering because it will help boost your confidence and help you stop the comparison game, judging yourself against how other people you meet look or dress. In fact, we use this simple but powerful hack with our coaching clients.
Do You Feel Fat and Uncomfortable? #3. Look Around You
First, take a good look at your group of friends or people in a crowd the next time you go out. Next, notice that couples come in all shapes and sizes and that being in a relationship isn’t just for the physically perfect. In fact, people in relationships are overweight, short, skinny, tall, have acne, facial scars and other skin conditions. Think about the fact that most people have physical flaws and you will feel more optimistic about your own chances for a loving relationship.
Do You Feel Fat and Uncomfortable? #4. Choose Wisely When Sharing Information
Practice being nonchalant about your appearance. In particular, avoid injecting negative judgments, like “It’s awful,” into your self-description or putting yourself down. So if it doesn’t seem like a huge deal to you, other people will view you the same way.
Do You Feel Fat and Uncomfortable? #5. Be Picky When Choosing a Romantic Partner
Don’t settle for just anyone. For example, a candidate should satisfy the three criteria below if he or she is to have a meaningful healthy place in your dating life.
- Has strong feelings about you – he or she should like you through and through for who you are. A good partner is not focused on pimples, wrinkles or extra pounds.
- Wants to grow – there is no perfect partner. Choose someone who is willing to work on him/herself.
- Meets the basics – a prospective partner for lasting love is a good person with integrity, who shares your values and goals and has romantic chemistry with you.
By using these five simple practices, you can end many of the psychological and relationship problems that are often caused when you feel fat and uncomfortable. In fact, you will learn to accept your body, as imperfect as it is, as just right for you. So make that your goal for 2022. And to read more about boosting self-esteem and building irresistible confidence, pick up Love in 90 Days. It’s newly revised and expanded.